Plant Girl Boss ranks the top 9 rude looking plants.
In this blog, we’ll cover some rude looking plants, aka plants that look like private parts, rude smelling plants, and plants with rude names. So let’s go!
Some rude looking plants include the trichocereus bridgesii, commonly known as the penis cactus, and Myrtillocactus geometrizans ‘Fukurokuryuzinboku’ Cactus, known as the boobie cactus.
Then there are rude smelling plants like the Amorphophallus titanum, which smells like a decomposing body.
And finally, there are plants with rude names like the Stiffcock and the Nipplewort.
So there you have it: some of the rudest plants out there
Top Rude Looking Plants
Nature has no filter. Just by looking at these rude plants you’ll see that Mother Nature sometimes has a sly sense of humor.
While these rude looking plants may raise a few eyebrows and elicit some uncomfortable giggles, they definitely add an element of surprise and interest to any home.
#1. MYRTILLOCACTUS GEOMETRIZANS ‘FUKUROKURYUZINBOKU’ CACTUS
Myrtillocactus geometrizans is more commonly known as the booby cactus, the titty cactus, or the breast cactus. No further explanations are needed as to where it got its name from.
This rude looking plant was named after Fukurokuju and Ryujin, two of the Seven Lucky Gods in Japanese mythology.
While it is a slow-growing cactus, it can grow up to 4m!
#2. TRICHOCEREUS BRIDGESII
Trichocereus bridgesii is the second rude plant on my list of naughtiest plants. An easy grower that thrives on neglect.
Don’t water in winter or provide too rich soil, and you’ll see it grow. I’m not really a fan of cacti, but this one is ‘growing’ on me.
Rude sight for sure.
#3. LITHOPS RUSCHIORUM
Lithops Ruschiorum, also referred to as living stones, are small succulents that grow in clumps that resemble… buttocks.
These slightly offensive plants are sure conversation starters! Lithops love full sun and are easy to grow as long as you don’t overwater them.
#4. OREOCEREUS TROLLII
Oreocereus trollii, commonly known as the Old Man of the Mountain, is yet another rude looking plant that resembles male genitalia.
Not only does this plant look like private parts, it’s also hairy!
When you think of cacti, the first thing that comes to mind is probably not “hair.” But for this plant species, its furry appearance makes sense.
Because of the climate in high altitudes of Argentina & Bolivia, where it grows in nature, the hair plays an important role – it shields the plant from the scorching sun and frosty nights.
#5. AMORPHOPHALLUS TITANUM
Amorphophallus titanum, also known as the ‘giant penis plant‘, is rudely smelling and rudely named!
Amorphophallus in Greek means ‘misshapen penis’ because the plant’s inflorescence resembles a phallic shape.
You don’t want to be around this rude plant when it blooms, as it smells like rotting flesh. It gives off a foul smell to attract pollinators.
The giant penis plant has probably the world’s smelliest flower.
Amorphophallus belongs to the Araceae family, which also includes anthuriums, philodendrons, and monsteras.
#6. RHODOCHITON ATROSANGINEUS
Rhodochiton Atrosangineus is known as ‘Black man’s willie‘ due to its unusual shape resembling male anatomy.
It is a climbing vine usually grown outdoors. The obvious phallic shape of the flowers will make your summer patio guests smile.
#7. GOMPHROCARPUS PHYSOCARPUS
Gomphrocarpus physocarpus, known as family jewels, hairy balls or monkey balls due to its suggestive shape.
Don’t be afraid to embrace your inner potty mouth and add a little bit of risque foliage to your plant collection. Who knows, it might just spice things up!
#8. CLITORIA TERNATEA
Commonly known as blue pea or butterfly pea, the clitoria ternatea’s flower is mimicking female genitals.
This sexually suggestive plant proves that just because they’re plants doesn’t mean they can’t be rude!
#9. MAMMILLARIA SPINOSISSIMA
The Mammillaria Spinosissima, also known as the red-headed Irishman, is arguably one of the rude-looking plants in the cactus family.
With a protruding “penis” shape and spine clusters scattered over its body, this cactus definitely earns its namesake.
Despite its rather unusual appearance, the Mammillaria Spinosissima is quite easy to care for.
So while it might not be the most elegant or eye-pleasing plant, this cactus certainly has a certain charm – and perhaps it’s best kept away from sensitive company.
Overall, the Mammillaria Spinosissima may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but those who appreciate its unique qualities will love it for its quirkiness.
Rude Plants with Dirty Names
And we end our ranking with three rude plants with naughty names.
1. Stiffcock (Diospyros crassenevis)
2. Stinking willie (Trillium erectum)
3. Nipplewort (Lapsana communis)
And that’s a wrap of the world’s rudest plants, ranked by Plant Girl Boss.
If you’re looking for a plant that’s sure to make your guests think you have no filter, then check out some of the plants on this list next time you visit your local nursery or garden store. Just be prepared for the stares you’ll get when people catch sight of them.
Do you know of any other rude plants? Let me know on Instagram and I’ll add them to the list. Thanks for reading!
And that’s a wrap of the world’s rudest plants, ranked by Plant Girl Boss.
